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my parent the army
Jun. 30th, 2002 03:48 pmYou know... the Army is sort of like an abusive parent.
After all, the Army loves you, right? It wouldn't make you run six miles in hundred-degree weather if it didn't. It wouldn't haul you out of bed at five in the morning to search for drugs or force you to wear thermal-insulating clothing in the height of summer if you hadn't done something wrong. The Army only punishes you when you've been bad, and oh, you are very, very bad. You've been very bad indeed. In fact, the Army is sure that you've done something. The Army knows. The Army always knows. Because somewhere, somehow, you've screwed up, and the Army is going to be sure that bad little boys and girls like you get just what you deserve. After all, you can't take care of yourselves. You need the Army. Without the Army... who else would tell you what is right and wrong? Who would make you take care of yourself? And who would punish you when you've been bad?
No one. Because only the Army loves you. Everyone else is just trying to make you get in trouble, and will tempt you into going astray from the One True Path. No, not the Right Way, or even the Wrong Way, but the Army Way. You shouldn't listen to them.
Why, maybe you need to be punished, for even thinking of it. Drop and give me fifty, soldier.
This flight of sarcasm was not brought on by any particular incident, and is posted here by popular demand of certain people I know. Please don't assasinate me.
After all, the Army loves you, right? It wouldn't make you run six miles in hundred-degree weather if it didn't. It wouldn't haul you out of bed at five in the morning to search for drugs or force you to wear thermal-insulating clothing in the height of summer if you hadn't done something wrong. The Army only punishes you when you've been bad, and oh, you are very, very bad. You've been very bad indeed. In fact, the Army is sure that you've done something. The Army knows. The Army always knows. Because somewhere, somehow, you've screwed up, and the Army is going to be sure that bad little boys and girls like you get just what you deserve. After all, you can't take care of yourselves. You need the Army. Without the Army... who else would tell you what is right and wrong? Who would make you take care of yourself? And who would punish you when you've been bad?
No one. Because only the Army loves you. Everyone else is just trying to make you get in trouble, and will tempt you into going astray from the One True Path. No, not the Right Way, or even the Wrong Way, but the Army Way. You shouldn't listen to them.
Why, maybe you need to be punished, for even thinking of it. Drop and give me fifty, soldier.
This flight of sarcasm was not brought on by any particular incident, and is posted here by popular demand of certain people I know. Please don't assasinate me.