and i know it's over.

[kespernorth]

Very suddenly, with little warning, Selena and I broke up.

She confessed to me, yesterday, that she had realized that she would be compromising too much of herself if she moved to Seattle to be with me, or indeed if she stayed in one place for too long. Her dream, her great dream, has always been to travel around, helping and teaching people, wandering the world.

And my dream is to write in Seattle, surrounded and inspired by it. And to have a home. And maybe one day get involved in politics here and try to make a difference that way, to fight against the slowly increasing bureaucratic opression and censorship I'[ve been seeing.

So I had a choice: either leave my home and follow her, and throwing my dream to the winds, or to live in Seattle and wait for her to decide to come and visit me.

I couldn't abandon my dream. And I couldn't live with my lover half a world away, waiting for her to fit me in when it was convenient.

And Selena realized this. We both did. And so we are... no longer together.

Our last words to one another in our most recent conversation were "I love you." We ended this not because we don't love each other -- we love each other just as much as we did that first fateful-beautiful weekend -- but we both find ourselves unable to give up our dreams for one another... and Selena and I don't think I can cope with sitting at home waiting for her. It wouldn't be fair.

We're still friends. Hopefully we always will be. We intend to keep in touch. We'll probably see each other again some day.

I... I'm not very well right now. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I thought I was going to get to. And now I['m not, and I don't, and I feel like part of me has been ripped out and stomped on.

I... I don't really feel like saying anything else right now, except this, which is for Selena:

Go, love. Go and follow your dreams, wherever they may take you, with my blessing. My thoughts and love go with you.

Comments

[omystars.livejournal.com]

shit.

shitshitshit.

*hug*

oh, fuck.

[treebyleaf.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry.

[skiterlady.livejournal.com]

I know there's nothing I can say to help, but I still want you to know how sorry I am that this happened. :-(

[etherpunk.livejournal.com]

Better you realize this now, and be happy being friends than to get further down the line and make yourselves miserable.

You'll always have each other in your hearts, and I think that's what matters the most.

The fact that she trusted you and confided in you about her feelings shows how much she really does love you, man. A woman like that is someone you definitely want to keep in your life, under any circumstances, because she'll be the one you will be able to turn to in a time of need.

Best wishes to you both.

[archmage.livejournal.com]

Well, V.P., you and I both know there's a lot I could say here...and therefore I don't have to, and am not going to. It would also be pointless to bother with the tired old cliches pertaining to this sitch, as I know that you know them as well as I.

All I'll say is that my heart and spirit are with you...I know what you are feeling right now. I'll be around, if you need to let it out to someone who's been there.

Friends always.

[magikgrrl.livejournal.com]

Oh.. There is really nothing to say to make it all better. Platitudes are just not a fit thing.

It is an amazing person, that can do what you did though, in the name of love for another.

[amaltheagray.livejournal.com]

i don't know what to say, really, but... *HUGS*

Why don't you come over and hang out?

[ulrich.livejournal.com]

Autumn and I are just cleaning up the apt and hanging out. You are welcome to come over and hang out, You dont need to talk about anything. just hang out with people who do care, if thats what you're in the mood for.

I don't know if you know the addy here but I'll give you the fone number here so you can get the addy. (206) 285-1613.

- Elric

Re: Why don't you come over and hang out?

[kespernorth.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Elric. I'm sorry I didn't get this message until today. It means a lot to me.

Re: Why don't you come over and hang out?

[ulrich.livejournal.com]

The offer is open still and standing open, six, and autumn say hi btw.

- Elric

[inevitability.livejournal.com]

:(

[chemicallace]

I'm sorry. My thoughts are with you and I hope the two of you can remain friends. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but some of what you've written echoes some of my thoughts in this past week or so. Take care.

[narnee.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Bjorn. :(

I'll skip the trite and cliche stuff, but I will say this - letting her go to follow to follow her dreams is one of the most bravest, kindest, sweetest, loving things I've heard anyone do for anyone else.

::hugs::

[kespernorth.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Narnie. I... have always, in the end, wanted her to be happy.

[stpaulus.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry man.

Consider yourself hugged.

My sympathy

[trilliumgrl.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[punkrockgrrrl.livejournal.com]

*hug*

Why not come down to San Francisco for awhile and unhook from your life for a few days? I'll take you on the Vampire Walk.........

[wendolen.livejournal.com]

*hug*

...

*hug*

I'm so sorry.

I don't have very many words for this.

[crispengray.livejournal.com]

I know this won't seem like much right now. But you did the best possible thing you could for each other. You love each other, and you want to let the other follow and complete your dreams. You each made the ultimate sacrifice for the other. And that's a truly beautiful thing.

I'm very proud of you. And I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

hugs

[placain.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
I'm so sorry...

[sayaka.livejournal.com]

*hug*

I'm so sorry to hear :(

[jestyr.livejournal.com]

*reads over posts*

Somehow, I feel like the last person at the party.

Bjorn, you know how much both you and Selena mean to me. Right now, I'm recreating my life from the ground up AGAIN...and both of you have been there when I needed you the most. I've tried my best to be there for the both of you, and if there is anything else I can do...tell me what it is.

"Sometimes we get seperated from those we love on the road of life, and on occasion, we can hold within ourselves the deadest certainty that you will find them again, or that they will find you. And if that is indeed not the case, then a part of them will always be with you."

It's advice I've had to take recently...and I hope it helps you in some way.

I'll do whatever I can to take care of both of you.
Promise.

[kespernorth.livejournal.com]

It's advice I desperately want to take.

And part of me still hopes that some day, things will still work out. If they do not... I've no idea how she feels.

I'm a little afraid, after hearing that a good portion of last night was spent with her friends going on about how they didn't like me, that she'll grow cold to me, decide that I wasn't as good a person as she thought I was. That bothers me a lot, because I know that I'll still care about her, no matter what.

[kinfae.livejournal.com]

Hey.

Bored last night, and reading LJ posts, I just wanted you to know.

I still think you're a good person.
Amazing writer, good person.

But, I'm still glad we broke apart. The things that I wanted, that I absolutely hunger for...didn't appeal to you. To summarize in a sentence... You wanted elegant nights, while I wanted the sticky fingers of a child on my face.

I'm happy with what I have, but I thought you still might like to know that I don't think badly of you.

[kespernorth.livejournal.com]

Thank you very, very much.

The hardest part was thinking that you hated me, and not quite understanding why.

And I am glad too. You're right, we wanted completely different things, different lives. (Though I think you might have been suprised at how well I could deal with sticky fingers -- I swear I'm not as relentlessly stuck-up as I probably seemed.)

It's worked out for the best. The end of our relationship threw me out of complacency and into graduate school, and I now hope to start a company that will change the face of journalism -- and if I'm successful, make an impact on the world.

I admit I was blind to what you wanted, or at least thought I could tempt you, convince you that you wanted an elegant life once you saw it was possible. I'm sorry for that. I learned from it.

And I'm happy with what I have, too -- it took me a long time to realize what was right in front of me, and we both needed time to heal our wounds... but Allyson is wonderful, and we go well together. Our hopes and dreams are much more aligned than yours and mine were, blind as I was to that. She shares your boundless passion and dreamer's nature -- I could never love someone who lacked those things -- but has the love of elegance needed to make our lives compatible, and the love of technology to understand mine. Our dreams are compatible; yours and mine were not.

Yes, it worked out for the best. It hurt, but gods know I learned from it. And I'm very happy with where I've ended up.

And I think you're a good person, too. I have always admired your courage and devotion to what you believe is right.

I wish you well, Selena, you and your family. I was saddened to hear that you'll have to leave them soon for Korea. I hope your time there passes quickly and that you'll not have to be parted from them again.

Thank you for this, once again. It was a gift.

[quipper.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

No matter how eloquent the words, nothing helps the pain but time.

You have my support.

And if you need to talk about it, you have my full attention.

[ex0teric.livejournal.com]

*hugs*