doing one's best

[kespernorth]

I've done my best.

I've done my best to love, and be kind, and do the right thing. Because that's how I want to live my life. I've done my best to help, not to hurt. To encourage hope and beauty in the world, not destroy it.

But apparently my best isn't good enough.

I've had it thrown in my face, over and over again this last week, just how not good enough my best really is.

And apparently I've caused a great deal of pain in one I cared about, despite my best efforts. So much so that she's going dark. Losing hope. No longer caring about her dreams. Blocking off all emotion, so she can just survive. Apparently I've done so many things wrong... and never even known it. I wish so badly that I could do something, but it's too late, there's nothing I can do. Or so she says.

I'm not sure if I can live with knowing that.

Comments

[01flux.livejournal.com]

Grr.

There's nothing wrong with YOU. NOTHING NOTHIN NOTHING.

You can't control or be responsible for her actions nor reactions, you are only in control of your own.

So don't feel responsible, as much as you want to, OK?