Kesper North (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kespernorth) wrote2002-12-23 07:56 pm
kespernorth) wrote2002-12-23 07:56 pm
rant: matchmaking
Ever since I was 16 or so, I've kind of unintentionally played matchmaker for my friends. I don't know what it is or how it happens, but I've occasionally happened to bring two friends of mine together, have them hit it off really well in that special way, and they end up having a nice relationship for a while. No permanent relationships so far, but that could change.
And sometimes I engineer these situations, in a blinding flash of intuition such as occasionally strikes me. Like as not, the male half of the equation is a close friend of mine, and the female is someone who I wouldn't mind dating myself, but for whatever reason she's just not interested in me.
(Scratch that: the reason has always been the fact that I am not skinny. Every single damn time, in point of fact; I am not skinny, and I am not dark-haired, and thus I Make A Great Friend. Feh!)
Such as it was when I was driving![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
reality_deviant back to Bellingham, and vanquishedart called me on my celphone, and I had one of those little flashes of insight, and handed Amanda the phone. Result? A few weeks later, Amanda and Josh started dating. I'm happy for them, they've been through hard times and could use a break, and I know that Josh is a stand-up guy, unlike some of the skeezebags Amanda has dated. And no, Chris, I don't mean you, so don't look so offended.
But you know what? I could use a change in luck, too. There are times when I wish someone would play matchmaker for me, for once. There are times when I wish I wouldn't always lose women's attentions to someone thinner and darker-haired.
Which has happened nearly every time.
I'm tired of it.
Women are not immediately attracted to my looks, not by a long damn shot. I've never, to my knowledge, been the one being stared at from across the room and drooled over. I accept this. The only things I have to attract the opposite sex with are my heart and mind, and those might actually be worth something, you know! Hello! Ring, ring, it's the clue phone!
It'd be nice to be appreciated. It'd be nice to have someone be attracted to me more than those damn skinny boys. But it happens only once in a great while, and I always lose them to a skinny boy in the end. Because there are a lot of single, skinny boys out there. A lot of them are probably just as nice and caring and kind and intelligent and romantic as I am... and, since they are guys, they are a hell of a lot more desperate than the surrounding female population.
And I can't even fucking blame you girls. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't prefer some willowy fey creature to someone merely human if I had the choice. But you know what? Some of us are able to look past features that are too heavy, a bit of a paunch around the middle, and big bones, and see your finer qualities... and the contents of your heart. It'd be nice if more of you could do the same for us. I'll never be a skinny bishounen with romantic flowing locks, but that doesn't mean you should immediately write me off as "too ugly". Condescend to date the fat kid for once, won't you? You might be suprised how rewarding it is.
And sometimes I engineer these situations, in a blinding flash of intuition such as occasionally strikes me. Like as not, the male half of the equation is a close friend of mine, and the female is someone who I wouldn't mind dating myself, but for whatever reason she's just not interested in me.
(Scratch that: the reason has always been the fact that I am not skinny. Every single damn time, in point of fact; I am not skinny, and I am not dark-haired, and thus I Make A Great Friend. Feh!)
Such as it was when I was driving
reality_deviant back to Bellingham, and vanquishedart called me on my celphone, and I had one of those little flashes of insight, and handed Amanda the phone. Result? A few weeks later, Amanda and Josh started dating. I'm happy for them, they've been through hard times and could use a break, and I know that Josh is a stand-up guy, unlike some of the skeezebags Amanda has dated. And no, Chris, I don't mean you, so don't look so offended.But you know what? I could use a change in luck, too. There are times when I wish someone would play matchmaker for me, for once. There are times when I wish I wouldn't always lose women's attentions to someone thinner and darker-haired.
Which has happened nearly every time.
I'm tired of it.
Women are not immediately attracted to my looks, not by a long damn shot. I've never, to my knowledge, been the one being stared at from across the room and drooled over. I accept this. The only things I have to attract the opposite sex with are my heart and mind, and those might actually be worth something, you know! Hello! Ring, ring, it's the clue phone!
It'd be nice to be appreciated. It'd be nice to have someone be attracted to me more than those damn skinny boys. But it happens only once in a great while, and I always lose them to a skinny boy in the end. Because there are a lot of single, skinny boys out there. A lot of them are probably just as nice and caring and kind and intelligent and romantic as I am... and, since they are guys, they are a hell of a lot more desperate than the surrounding female population.
And I can't even fucking blame you girls. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't prefer some willowy fey creature to someone merely human if I had the choice. But you know what? Some of us are able to look past features that are too heavy, a bit of a paunch around the middle, and big bones, and see your finer qualities... and the contents of your heart. It'd be nice if more of you could do the same for us. I'll never be a skinny bishounen with romantic flowing locks, but that doesn't mean you should immediately write me off as "too ugly". Condescend to date the fat kid for once, won't you? You might be suprised how rewarding it is.
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Before that you resembled a growing german shepard- bug paws all splayed and wiggly in the middle.
But now, yes, you are certainly the humpable sort.
Not, of course, like *my* opinion would count for squat here...
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Ok, at some point, you and I must have coffee somehow. Damnit, I command this!
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*chokes on coffee*
that's the funniest thing i've read all morning. because yes, i agree with you, from the pictures i've seen of bjorn before late 1997... well, they weren't really at all like i imagined bjorn to look at all and i was rather confused and bemused by the entire world of online romance and appearance and such. and then the great bjorn australian transformation occurred and he settled into himself and certainly did become most emminently humpable.
and bjorn.. it might sound like little consolation right now, but it's true that not all girls are into the skinny types. i'm certainly not, though i do seem to end up with them somehow. i prefer men whose hipbones don't dig into me in that painful way when we fuck. there's something valuable to be said for that. ;)
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(and)
It never ceases to amaze me how much those three months in Australia completely changed my whole life and attitude and self-image and everything.
My recent trip to Europe wasn't quite as immediately and obviously earthshaking, but did me just as much good in many ways.
Some people spend years in therapy. It seems all I have to do is go to another continent for a while. Cheaper, less time-consuming, and more fun!
...Maybe I should write my own self help book! Steph and I were talking about that yesterday...