well, *that* was weird.
Apr. 7th, 2002 04:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kespernorthLast night's party was... odd.
On the one hand, most of the people who showed up seemed to have a really good time, when they weren't feeling ill.
On the other hand, the person throwing the party had an awful time.
This party, I think, tried to do too many things. On the one hand it was to be a going-away party for Frank; on the other hand it was supposed to also be a birthday party for Steph and I.
In reality, a bunch of people showed up, socialized, and had A Party. It wasn't a birthday party; nobody except Steph even wished me a happy birthday. It wasn't a going-away party; Frank was not hailed, lauded and told that he would be missed (well, aside from a few joking comments to Di about "oh, you're the lucky lady who's taking our Frank away from us; all the best to you!").
I also felt that Frank's attitude towards everyone was kind of odd. I've never seen him speak so loudly, to talk over everyone else so much. It was clear that he was in a mood from the start of things. And he even sniped at me a couple of times; that's unusual, for him. Sniping hasn't been much of a part of our friendship in the past, not like![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
inevitability and I. It threw me.
Frank also seemed displeased that not many people were interested in watching the movies he kindly provided... in fact, the assembled guests seemed primarily interested in interacting with one another, which (to me) is the sign of a good party. A few people sat on the couch but the group was really having quite a good time just mingling and chatting.
Now, most of the people who showed up were people Frank didn't really know. I invited Wendy, Six, Eric and Gwen, and asked Frank before I invited them if it was OK. He'd already met Wendy before, and I had wanted him to meet Six, Eric and Gwen for quite some time. Unfortunately... things didn't go very well at all. I honestly believe that under different circumstances, that group, particularly Wendy and Six, would have hit it off quite well with Frank. But... things happened.
Honestly, I feel rather bad. I genuinely enjoyed this party, rather a lot, despite the sour note it ended on. It seemed like most of the people who showed up had a blast. And I'm really sorry that the people I brought seemed to offend Frank so. I feel kind of responsible for his having a bad time, and yet at the same time I feel a bit miffed, because, damn it, people seemed to enjoy their company.
I don't really know where I'm going with this, or why I'm writing this. I feel rather torn in loyalty between friends; on the one hand I can sort of empathize with Frank and want to defend him; on the other hand I want to defend both my own actions and my other friends. It's a damned shitty place to be, really, and I just hope that the fallout from this proves to be minimal.
If you feel I ruined your party, Frank, I'm sorry. I was just trying to bring my favorite people together, in hopes that they would meet and be happy.
On the one hand, most of the people who showed up seemed to have a really good time, when they weren't feeling ill.
On the other hand, the person throwing the party had an awful time.
This party, I think, tried to do too many things. On the one hand it was to be a going-away party for Frank; on the other hand it was supposed to also be a birthday party for Steph and I.
In reality, a bunch of people showed up, socialized, and had A Party. It wasn't a birthday party; nobody except Steph even wished me a happy birthday. It wasn't a going-away party; Frank was not hailed, lauded and told that he would be missed (well, aside from a few joking comments to Di about "oh, you're the lucky lady who's taking our Frank away from us; all the best to you!").
I also felt that Frank's attitude towards everyone was kind of odd. I've never seen him speak so loudly, to talk over everyone else so much. It was clear that he was in a mood from the start of things. And he even sniped at me a couple of times; that's unusual, for him. Sniping hasn't been much of a part of our friendship in the past, not like
inevitability and I. It threw me.Frank also seemed displeased that not many people were interested in watching the movies he kindly provided... in fact, the assembled guests seemed primarily interested in interacting with one another, which (to me) is the sign of a good party. A few people sat on the couch but the group was really having quite a good time just mingling and chatting.
Now, most of the people who showed up were people Frank didn't really know. I invited Wendy, Six, Eric and Gwen, and asked Frank before I invited them if it was OK. He'd already met Wendy before, and I had wanted him to meet Six, Eric and Gwen for quite some time. Unfortunately... things didn't go very well at all. I honestly believe that under different circumstances, that group, particularly Wendy and Six, would have hit it off quite well with Frank. But... things happened.
Honestly, I feel rather bad. I genuinely enjoyed this party, rather a lot, despite the sour note it ended on. It seemed like most of the people who showed up had a blast. And I'm really sorry that the people I brought seemed to offend Frank so. I feel kind of responsible for his having a bad time, and yet at the same time I feel a bit miffed, because, damn it, people seemed to enjoy their company.
I don't really know where I'm going with this, or why I'm writing this. I feel rather torn in loyalty between friends; on the one hand I can sort of empathize with Frank and want to defend him; on the other hand I want to defend both my own actions and my other friends. It's a damned shitty place to be, really, and I just hope that the fallout from this proves to be minimal.
If you feel I ruined your party, Frank, I'm sorry. I was just trying to bring my favorite people together, in hopes that they would meet and be happy.
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(no subject)
Date: 2002-04-07 07:30 pm (UTC)*shrug* It's probably too late for that to matter to Frank, but I wanted everyone who was there, who knows what I'm on about, to see this. I'm sorry.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-04-07 08:06 pm (UTC)I'm not totally sure what happened last night. I think it was a combination of factors, not all of which would be readily apparent to any one else, and the mix of them came out quite sour, I'm afraid. And, sad to say, but that mix was mostly my fault. No one could have known what was gonna happen, except maybe me, and I should have damn well known better.
Bjorn, my friend, there is nothing you need to feel responsible or sorry for, nor do I ask for your support or defense...I don't deserve it. Nothing you did was worthy of reproach...instead, it is I that apologizes to you for my actions and attitude, and for placing you in the position you find yourself in.
I hope that this not only salvages whatever we might have left, but also helps keep any fallout to a minimum...which is why I wanted to place this somewhere public that I knew you would get it and others would see it.
I'm sorry, my brother.